My First Kiss

Everyone remembers their first kiss.  Mine was with a girl living in a foster home, yeah I know you don't want to hear this.  In Eve the only first that matters is your first kill.  And your first death.  Well here are mine.


Stay away from the cans, he hates the cans!:


Back when I first started the game I would mission/haul on one account and mine with the other.  I'd been jet canning for a few weeks in an out of the way .9 system and finally moved to a .6 for some better ore.  The new system (Poinen) had over 100 people in it consistently but my noobishness didn't realize how bad of an idea jet canning is in a busy system.

So I'm happily jet canning in my new system when all of a sudden my container box disappears from my miners screen.  What the trickery is this?  I checked the overview and a yellow can is sitting where my white can once was and a Caldari Navy Hookbill (I had to look it up as I'd never heard of it before) is hovering nearby.  NINJA! THIEF! ARRRGGGHH, PIRATE!.  I immediately docked and grabbed my badger.


Yep, I grabbed my badger.  I just knew I could take the stuff out of the can and warp off before he could get me.  I didn't think about prelocking, didn't know just what a warp jam did, basically I knew as much about PVP as your typical 13yr old nerd knows about the female anatomy (only what you see and read on a porn site... I mean forum).  So I get my badger lined up, opened the can, scooped the loot and tried to get away.  We all know what happened next.  Shields die, armor dropping, I think fast and jettison cargo so maybe he'll be nice and let me live..nope, the Jerk.  My badger Died in a Fire (TM).


I was literally shaking this whole time.  I get some pretty intense adrenaline rushes from gaming and I was definitely hopped up on Mt. Dew and ready to go spider monkey on someone from all the adrenaline I had pumping in my veins.  So my badger died and I headed back to my station to figure out what to do next.  Next was waiting about 20mins for my hands to stop shaking while I figured out the multiple things I did wrong, on the forums of course.

The only smart thing about the whole incident was I didn't use my mining barge drones to help.  My retriever was still safely mining while the hookbill stayed on grid for more easy kills.  In the end I waited out my aggression timer and determined I needed to figure out some kind of PVP ship to have on hand in case this happened again.


 Days go by and I get smarter about mining.  I realize that the only way jetcaning would work would be to have a third account for hauling so my mission runner could go about his business.  So I make a minnie (I was told mammoth's get targeted less than itty's) and quickly had a hauler alt.  Soon I've got a Hoarder sitting next to my retriever and I'm raking in the big bucks.


Revenge is best served with AML's:

One day a rifter shows up and is orbiting close.  No biggie.  Surely I'm faster than this guy at opening my can's and moving the ore.  So I get ready and drop the can so I can swiftly transfer the contents with my hauler.  Only for some reason the rifter goes red and my Hoarder blows up.  Great googelymoogely batman.  How did that happen?  I can only assume we both dipped into the can at the same time giving mutual aggression.  This time I was ready though.


Earlier in the day I had put together a great PVP caracal.  Scram, check; web, check; assault missile launchers, check; AB, check; shield buffer, check.  I looked on battleclinic and the forums for help and I was so happy to finally have a PVP bird in case I ever needed it, and the case happened sooner rather than later.

I pulled my mission guy in, swapped ships and warped the caracal on top of my retriever, which was being tightly orbited by the rifter.  I landed, got lock, pointed, webbed and ate his armor like it was mint chocolate chip ice cream.  Yay revenge.


I kept that guy on my watchlist for a very long time, but he eventually gave up when I never, ever dropped a can when he was around.  To this day that is still the only kill mail I have and my only solo kill, but it's one of my favorites.  I killed Zuchini Warrior, who in my mind was a great PVP person, which showed me that I could survive in this game if I really wanted to.


Oh, if you're still interested, my first kiss was to this cute little blonde who so didn't care for me as much as I did for her, but I could feel her lips on mine days later.  We eventually broke up, well she left me, but the memory is something I'll always cherish.  Just like my first Eve kill.